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Forever and a day ago, I came out to my parents, but it was really just back in February. My problem is that they didn't believe me.

It was during an argument, which was a bad choice on my part. A year or so ago I made a tumblr and my parents found out about it and deleted it. Last summer, I decided to make a new one and hide it better. It went on for a really long time, and I was semi-out-of-the-closet on tumblr. Of course, as my awful luck goes, my dad happened upon me switching to another window on my iPad and made me go back to the previous one which just happened to be my dashboard. He was outraged at the ridiculous amount of profanity I was using and just the general content of the site. Then he remembered that this had happened before and was even angrier.

I had just gotten back from District Choir and Valentine's Day was coming up. I had planned originally on coming out to them on Valentine's Day, but I stupidly decided to come out in the middle of the argument to take the focus away from what he was actually mad at me for. It was already eating me up inside. I couldn't spit it out though, so I wrote it down on paper (and used the wrong choice of words, though I'm still confused as to whether I actually like guys or not). This calmed things down but at the same time made them worse.

My dad's argument is that I'm not sure because I've never actually been with anyone. At all. I've dated three people, one of which I'm not sure was even real. As for the other two, one lasted two class periods in the sixth grade and the other was a sick practical joke.

It just pisses me off because I know for a fact that I like girls despite never having been with one; there's got to be some damn reason my eyes linger on girls longer than they should and I spend my nights dreaming up scenario's with them (that'll never happen, sadly)! The only thing I'm confused about is if I like guys or not!

Since that day I have never, not once, spoken to my parents about it at all. They gave me a stern lesson about what I say on the internet, but nothing about me being gay. I overheard them discussing it once and my mother has brought up counseling with me, but that's more due to rough issues with my father. If I had a dollar for every time they've threatened to leave each other, I'd be rich. It almost happened a few weeks ago. Mom even took me out to look at apartments, but I pitched a fit that night and told her I wasn't going anywhere. My dad might be an ass but he's still my dad, even if I do occasionally hate him. Besides, we just redid my whole room. I'm not moving after all that hard work.

I have come out to one other person. At District Choir, a gay friend of mine asked me if I was gay because, in his words, I "seemed like that type". I didn't answer him for the longest time and then I said yes. I don't even know if he still remembers that, though, because he hasn't talked to me about it since.

I also live in a very conservative, religious area where I've heard some of my closest friends even talking about it being a sin to be gay. To quote a moronic girl (trust me, she's a piece of work; the story behind her is so long I could write a whole book about it) from my swim team, "I love gay people, but I hate their sins." What? What!? WHAT!? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? (Luckily, I had a supportive friend there to keep me from flying off the handle.) I was spared from all this because my parents never forced me to go to church. Sure, I went to Vacation Bible School for a week each year as a kid like everyone else, but I hated it. I remember plotting to run home one time. I only enjoyed the free food. I only went to church when I was staying with a friend. One of my good friends was the son of a pastor, so I went on Wednesday's for a while in the sixth grade; it was enjoyable and I had a good time, but I haven't been back since. My religious views are very open and although sometimes I have a hard time believing it, there probably is some god out there somewhere and I don't want to be on his bad side.

To sum it all up, my problem is this: I told my parents, they're sort of in denial, I live in an awful neighborhood for this, and I'm a nervous wreck about it all. I just feel like I need to talk to someone, but I can't because I'm surrounded by semi-homophobic gossip machines (some of which are very, very hot). The internet is the next best thing, right?

I just feel so alone. I know relationships are full of drama but I'm dying to have one because I never have had one before. I'm all chock full of hormones and I wanna be prideful and jank but I'm too cowardly at this point because I'm afraid of losing the few friends I have and being stuck with no one at all. I'm especially afraid of losing my family and their support. I'm backed into a corner with no strength and no way to get out and I just wanna break down and cry but I'm too tough to do that. I wake up every morning and I'm happy for the rest of the world but, most of the time, not for myself. I think I need a personality reset.

Or someone to talk to. That would be nice as well.
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:iconimpalerqueen:
ImpalerQueen Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Note me whenever you need some to talk to, yo! :hug:

You're not alone, my friend. I had to come out to my dad (being bi, of course) through my mom because I was so scared that he'd disown me like so many other parents have done. His reaction was pretty much like "She's my daughter, I don't give a (blank)." Many parents deny this sort of thing but I'm thankful that mine don't. Someday soon yours will wake up and realize how much they've hurt you - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...but they cannot deny the fact that you're their own flesh and blood.

As for friends, I've been there too. Some don't talk to me anymore (which is fine with me) but I've others who are an army of support. The GLBT community will ALWAYS be welcoming to you. Some friends leave, but others come. You never know...they may be counted as family one day too! :)

:peace: and :heart: Fly that rainbow flag proudly, and if the world doesn't accept you for who you are then f :censored: them!
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:iconruby-rayne-42:
Ruby-Rayne-42 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is kind of what happened to me last year when I came out. I also live in a very religious place, and I have also never dated anyone. I find myself really attracted to girls and girls only, though. Like, I can kind of tell when a guy is attractive, but I just don't see it. My parents were supportive, but a little weird about it. So were most of my friends, but they're almost all girls, and I think all of them were afraid I'd try to make a move on them or something. I actually did start liking one of my friends and she figured it out herself, so that made things kind of awkward until we just forgot about it. Another of my friends, though, is trying to convince me that I'll go to Hell because I'm lesbian, and that I had the choice not to be. It's such a pain trying to explain to him that it wasn't a choice. I mean, I don't even care if I "go to Hell", considering I'm Wiccan. I don't believe in any kind of evil being like Satan. So...I sorta know how you feel (: And I've also been craving affection lately (ew, it sounds weird when you say it that way xD) and I can't seem to find a girl that likes me either D: It's just so hard because in these places there aren't many open LGBT kids, and the ones that I know, I have no interest in whatsoever. And I'd be happy to talk to you if you ever want to, by the way (:
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:iconcheetana:
Cheetana Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
Eugh, my parents had the same kind of thing with me, both the internet usage and with me liking girls. Unknown to them however, I had been with three girls and was sure I was either a lesbian or bisexual.

At the moment this seems like a bit of a scary situation, but don't worry. It can be a bit upsetting when you are in a place you can't be yourself, but you have the rest of your life to explore your curiousity and meet new people. When you're a little older you could research some gay-friendly establishments and meet some new people you can really relate too.

Hang in there hun, I'm sure it will all be okay and your parents will come around :)
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:iconspinda101:
spinda101 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2012
I'm sorry.
I completely understand what you mean.
People doubting you sucks.
I might have never been in a relationship with a girl,
but I'm definitely attracted to them and I fantasize about them all the time.
Support can be hard to find if you don't know where to look.
If you want someone to talk to, I'd be happy to. :)
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:iconoutcastkingdom:
OutcastKingdom Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
My parents had the same reaction when I came out. People don't have to "get with" anyone in order to determine their sexual orientation. To even consider dating someone you'd have to have some sort of interest in them in the first place. If it just so happens to be girls, then your interest lies with girls.

As for the religious thing... Everyone sins, unfortunately. One cannot judge another without judging one's self. But compared to the homophobes, that girl's answer was more than appropriate, haha.

I hope things get better for you! :)
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:iconsolarapple:
SolarApple Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Ditto to what this person said. Apart from my parents don't know.
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:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My parents had a similar reaction when I came out. It probably didn't help that it was after a huge argument with them, but anyway.

I have had girlfriends (although my parents don't know that), but I knew even before I started dating females that I was lesbian. So, I do see where you're coming from.

If you ever want to chat, message me. I don't mind at all, and trust me; I don't bite :)
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:icondark-harou:
dark-harou Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I actually can explain the "I love gay people, but I hate their sins," line. Christianity teaches that homosexuality is a sin, but that you should also love all people. You should never hate someone for what they are, just the sins themselves...I don't subscribe to all that but, I do understand it and in some ways it actually is better than hating people. It honestly allows for a lot more tolerance and understanding than the average person's outlook on life.

I'm pansexual myself, and I've never fully come out to my parents, though most of my friends know. The fact that you were brave enough to tell them, even if it was in the heat of the moment, is still wonderful. I really hope things get better for you, lovey.

I know you don't know me, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. My stepsister is a lesbian and I've talked with her through a lot of it, I was the first person she came out to. I know in my heart that one day everything will work out, it just may take time. :heart:
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks! I can sort of understand the whole religious thing. I can't help it if it still irritates me a little, but that's okay. I try to respect people's beliefs.
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:icondark-harou:
dark-harou Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's a good way to be :)
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:iconamducious-666:
Amducious-666 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
that sucks but itll be alright in the end!:)
my mom is still in denial but my dad accepts me sorta cause hes dosent understand.
i grew up in the mormon faith so i know how hard it can be when religion is involved :\
but its ok if your not sure of what you like cause you have lots of time to figure that out :)
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:iconprismsky:
PrismSky Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Well ask your dad "When you were younger dad, I would imagine at some point you saw a girl and had a little crush. I'm sure at some point you fantasized about girls and you KNEW that you liked them. You didn't keep asking yourself whether or not you liked boys. You just liked girls, and you knew it.
Same thing with you. You like tits, and that's all there is to it.
Tell him you don't like the idea of being with a girl but straight up chick sex. As in female sex organs, just like him.
Be like "All the thoughts you have about women are the same thoughts I'm having, so why would we be any different?"
It sounds like you want to tell them, and at the same time you don't! I know that feeling!
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha, that would knock him for a loop XD That sounds like something I would say, too. Maybe sometime, when we're watching TV, I should just be like "She has nice boobs." and see where it goes from there.

Thanks for the advice!
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:iconprismsky:
PrismSky Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
HAHAHA OMG YES!
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:iconemtay96:
emtay96 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Wow. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, just remember there's a lot of good people out there and you never know how they will react. I have a mormon friend (yeah ikr weird) but she knows i'm not totally straight (my awkward way of putting it because like you idk if I'm bisexual or lesbian) And whether she chooses to ignore it or not, she knows and she doesn't care. I mean I probably won't have a discussion about sexuality with her anytime soon, I was surprised that she will still hang out with me and not care! (long story is long) so the point of that was you never know. If you're feeling that upset about it it's worth a try, you never know. But if you're really that worried about it there's no shame in waiting. As long as you stick around the people that love and support you who cares about the rest? I know it's tough living in religious communities, mine is like this too. Just do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Good luck with your parents by the way! I hope that you can get that solved eventually. Just know there's no need to rush with things! I'm struggling with it at the same time too ^^; but rushing into it won't do me any good. I mean if you think you're parents would kick you out or you wouldn't be safe coming out then you should wait! Coming out is certainly fun and all but there's no need to put yourself at risk, especially if your a minor

Sorry this was long and awkward ^^; Either way, good luck and :huggle:
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you c:

My current best friend happens to be a Mormon (though she's sort of a rebellious Mormon... she still is). I think she has passive views about sexuality, but I'm not sure. For right now, I'll keep quiet, but I hope to tell her in the future! She's like a second mother to me ("Stop eating things off the floor!" "Don't mess with that!" "Give me back my eyelash curlers!" "Put on nice clothes!" "I don't care if he gives you a million dollars, do NOT lick the floor again!" "Quit going through my purse!"). I don't think I could stand it if she turned her back on me...
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:iconemtay96:
emtay96 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
Your welcome :3

She sounds like a lot of fun! Yeah my friend is also really weird XD I mean my best friend is more like a sister so my mormon friend is like a best friend to me, I've known her since 3rd grade. I know the feeling though. ^_^ Good luck!
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:iconwunderwolfer:
wunderwolfer Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
It sounds like you're going through a lot at the moment and I hope things get better for you :love:.

I can't say that I know what your going through but I can definitely sympathise with your situation and give you little advice if that's ok (feel free to ignore me completely most people do :) )?

Now let me go into mother Lesbian mode, I am currently chanelling Ellen lol, no now I'm going to be serious. There is no need to label yourself straight, bisexual, lesbian or whatever you've got loads of time to figure things out. When I was younger I was attracted to men and women and I found it liberating being open to having a relationship with either sex. I just thought that Id fall in love with whoever I'd fall in love with and I finally did with my lovely lady and that wasn't until I was much older *cough*20*cough*. Now I'd call myself a lesbian but if my lady ever got bored with me and kicked me out on my backside I may even consider a relationship with a man (if I found one I was attracted too and was attracted to me of course). So there is no rush to figure out anything, it wil come eventually and you'll meet that wonderful person that will make everything crystal clear :).

As for where you live, my advice for people living in areas without a large, supportive gay scene is bide your time, use the support of the lovely people of the internet, do well at school and move away to one of the larger cities when you can. It dosn't have to be forever just long enough for you to go to a new town where no-one knows and you can be yourself without feeling judged. It's not surprising that I met my lady at University.

It must be really difficult for you at the moment but things will get better, hopefully its sooner better than later :hug:
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for your kind words :) That made me feel better. A lot better.
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:iconwunderwolfer:
wunderwolfer Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
You are very welcome
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:icondaydallas:
Daydallas Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
One never give up, I know it sounds corny but Its got to be said non the less.

Not sure I should even be trying to lure you to the 'other side' but just bear in mind, The world is not so black and white; there is a lot of grey in the middle and then there is the whole colour spectrum to be aware of. There are other things you can identify with: Bi, Pan, and a whole lot more.

I questioned for a long time and in the process found this dA group(along with others) and stuck around, even if I now Identify as Bi ( and wither or not I'm still welcome)... hence the 'other side' comment xD

I would like to point out that the first time that either one of your parents had a girlfriend/boyfriend (assuming there was no questioning time for them) they knew they like the opposite gender/sex, they hadn't been with some one before that but they knew that is what they wanted.

Got distracted and read the comments xD
I see Kat down there (The-Yuri-Canon) She was one of the first people I bumped in to when I started lurking around dA.

As for looking for a relationship meh I'm sure your capable of existing on your own, you don't need to be with another person to be happy if you know what I mean.

Time can be a big thing with life, your parents may come out of denial as you continue on with life, and a little thought as well that I have learnt: just because you identify as one thing now doesn't mean that is what you will always be. I'm sure your favorite colour(food/animal ect) may have changed in your life... so might what you want out of a partner.

I'll offer me as another person to yack at if you need some one to talk to. Talking to some one you may never have to face in real life can be a help even if its not as close/fulfilling as talking to some one in real life.
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you!

Yeah, I've been considering guys, but I change my opinion on them like the days of the week. Monday? Oh, look, cute guys! Tuesday? Oh, ew, guys. My brain can't make up it's damn mind -.-

As for the whole relationship thing, I just feel out of place and a bit awkward because everyone I know has seriously dated someone at some point and I'm just sitting over here, being a potato. Both of my closest friends are in happy relationships and I'm in a steady relationship with my bed. Even worse, I have crushes. Oh, the humanity. To watch them walk by each day and want to run into a damn wall because I'll only ever have them in my dreams.

It's the worst with one girl because she's just like me. She dresses like me. She acts like me. She has the same tastes as me. She sets off my (faulty) gaydar like she's radioactive but she dates guys left and right. It sucks.
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:icondaydallas:
Daydallas Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
I'm not sure of your age but I have see people not settle in to one thing until long after most.

Dating so many guys could be because she isn't finding what she is looking for, especially if she is aware of the community not being accepting.

Time can be a big factor in wither you are ready for a relationship, what you want/can identify as, and making up your mind on what you might want and even then things can change and you can have times in your life where people you want can 'break the trend' of what you've wanted before.
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:iconstefanslittlelove:
StefansLittleLove Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's okay sweetheart, I'm going through some similar issues, very similar in fact, and I'm very sorry that this has happened to you....if you need anyone to talk to I'm always here. Please feel free to note me.
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:iconpixistikninja:
PixiStikNinja Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
I'me here for ya ^^

My town is like that. I plan on coming out at school though. I'm not gonna run up and down the hallways screaming it, but if someone asks me I'll be honest.

And honey, if they decide not to talk to you over something so minor, then they aren't your friends. I honestly don't understand why people make such a big deal about things like this. Sexuality is not a huge thing to make a fuss over. It's not like it makes you a serial killer or something!
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks!

I'm sort of getting to the point where I believe that I'm going to answer truthfully if anyone asks me from now on (well, not if said person is a gossip hound...). There are certain things I don't like lying about anymore.

I'll never forget, the night after a sleepover, my dad drove one of my friends home and I went in her house to meet her parents. I had thrown on some cargo pants and an old huge t-shirt because I was tired and lazy. On Monday, said friend told me her mom thought I looked like a dyke (of course, her mom is... well, a bit of a druggie, so I took it with a grain of salt) and asked me if I was. I hesitated a bit before saying no because I wasn't ready back then. The whole time I was thinking "Oh my god, am I that obvious?" Now I'm trying to be obvious about it and NO ONE IS ASKING ANYMORE.

I guess they've gotten too used to me ^^'
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:iconpixistikninja:
PixiStikNinja Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Any time! ^^

Same here. It's bad enough that I have to hide my emotions, so why should I hide something else?

Same here! I'm just sitting there at lunch with my sarcastic guy's t-shirt and a fo-hawk like "COME THE EFF AT ME"


^^ Maybe.
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha XD

A year or so ago my mom was seriously pressuring me to get my hair cut short (like super short) because hers is that way. Luckily, dad was on my side, so I kept my long hair. Now it's all shaggy and I wanted to get it cut and dyed but I'm afraid to ask my hairdresser. I feel like the most socially inept person ever. I can't even ask about a haircut. What is wrong with me? I have antisocial-itis or something...

('Course, my hippie hair is still pretty wicked. It just needs to be the slightest bit shorter.)
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:iconpixistikninja:
PixiStikNinja Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
I'm like that. I honestly don't ask for anything unless I absolutely need it. Honestly, just ask. Act like you're not assking for real, but just for fun. That helps me.
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:iconnaya12:
naya12 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know how you feel. My family is very religious and I have to hear about how being gay is wrong and a sin all the time. If you need someone to talk to just note me. I will respond.
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:iconkwijibojd:
KwijiboJD Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Hate is a terrible word. Try not using it. Be you. If you like girls or boys ... just be you. You sound like a romantic. That's a good thing, but can be tough. If church people give you grief for being you... Ask them what it says about judging others in the Bible. Also point out that it says to love not hate. That should shut them up. And say it with a kind loving smile. It'll hit the point harder. Remember : God is love. Period. He doesn't hate. As for a relationship ... they tend to happen when we aren't looking. Good luck sweetheart.
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you!

Heh, I've always sort of thought of myself as the romantic type... I can see myself being like that a lot.

Thanks for the advice!
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:iconthe-yuri-canon:
The-Yuri-Canon Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love how people use that whole, "But you've never been with the opposite sex so how would you know?" argument. I love filling it around on them because their answer is usually something they don't really consider

You are not alone out there. I grew up in conservative hell, only thing is It was like I was born with the word Dyke written across my forhead or something... not something easily hidden. I grew up never understanding why people thought loving another girl was wrong... so yeah... the trouble I got myself into back then.

It got really bad for me... I mean really bad... down to being kicked out, disowned and left at a mental hospital until I was old enough to be released on my own terms. The only lucky part is everything made me so messed up I ended up on disablity so I had money to live on my own and run away to a big city where things finally turned around. Hell now I'm married to my lovely wife with her very supportive family.

Anyways, I wish you the best of luck in love and life.

Kat
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:icondaydallas:
Daydallas Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Kat!!!!!!!!
♫ Its a small world after all
Its a small world after all♪
LOL sorry just couldn't help but get all excited for seeing some one who helped me thought a lot =]
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:iconthe-yuri-canon:
The-Yuri-Canon Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey there, I've been here for a while now, just don't talk too much... busy with everything else. Work Work Work.

Glad I could be of help to you.

Kat
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:iconmellomatt-ftw:
MelloMatt-ftw Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
My dad doesn't know, but my mom is in denial the same exact way your parents are. I've never been with anyone either (when it counted), but I KNOW I like girls - I just don't know whether or not I like guys as well (so I completely understand your predictament). My mom says she wants to wait for me to actually have experience before she'll really believe me. And strangely enough, I came out during an argument, too (though I'd been wanting to tell her for a long time before it). We were arguing about grades, and that turned to this one teacher I had who was a homophobic asshole (who actually made anti-gy comments in class, and really That doesn't have a place in the classroom), and then that turned to me blurting out that I liked girls.

I'd like to talk to someone as well, but I live in a conservative area too. Did you know that my town was home to some of the earliest Tea Party gatherings? Yeah, it's that kind of town. I remember, back when Prop 8 (also know as Prop H8) was being voted on, almost every house on my street had a 'Yes on 8' sign in their yard - except the family that lived across the street, but unfortunately they moved away two years ago. When I did day of silence, one of my more religious friends walked up to me and the first thing she said was, "I don't agree with what you're doing." And another one of my friends (who wasn't doing DoS with me but was supportive of it) asked her wh, and she replied, "Because gays don't deserve to have a whole day for them. You don't see any 'don't bully Christians' days." And my supportive friend, who was getting angry by this point (because she /really/ doesn't get along with religious people because of crap she went through when she was younger) said, "Well that's because Christians /aren't bullied, at least not for being Christian - especially in this town. They have Day of Silence because gay people are bullied the most." And my homophobic friend responded, "Well I think they're just looking for attention." And from there it spiralled into a huge fight, and I couldn't even say anything, that basically ended our friendship to the homohobic girl.

My town is full of people that hate gay people, like yours, but I think what you need to do is find close friends - at least one - who aren't homophobic. You can look for them in clubs at your school that might be more left-leaning (like Future Republicans wouldn't be a good place to look, nor would Christian Club or Bible Inquiry or FCA - all of which are clubs at my school), or in art/performing arts classes, which are more likely to have people who want to move to some big city, and are more accepting. Even in the most conservative towns, you can find allies. Note me if you ever want to talk :).
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd just like to start this out by saying god, that teacher sounds awful. My parents were both teachers at some point in their lives so I have respect for them, but every now and then you just get a rotten teacher that has at least fifty different things wrong with them, but that just sucks, plain and simple.

And that girl sounds awful too D:

As for supporting friends, I'm actually in my school's show choir, home to two openly gay guys (which I love dearly; they are the best). As I mentioned, I told one of them when he asked me, but I'm not sure if he stills remembers or is being polite and not bringing it up. Of course, I've had my doubts about him since he's told me some questionable things and people have told me that he has a tendency to lie... As for the other, he's graduating this year :( Anyways, I switched over to the show choir because they are very open-minded and supporting people. I'm just socially awkward and having a hard time talking to anyone in there about anything, even the people I know -.-' I've always been very closed up...

Okay, I'm rambling, but I think I will note you just so I can let my mouth run a little more (if you don't mind, that is ^^'). Thank you for your concern, though!
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:iconysliao:
YSLiao Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
You're not alone! Study hard, learn well, and hook yourself a rope out of there at an out-of-state university. Worlds will open up! Things are hard now, so bid your time and live to fight another glorious day!
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I do my best! C: I've always tried to keep my grades up (successfully, with a beautiful all A record so far) and my hopes high! My only problem is that I'm a tad bit lazy and ADD and I hate working with a passion -.- I have dreams, though, and I'm not letting them go, no matter what!
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:iconysliao:
YSLiao Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Hold on tight and may you one day find a reason to fight passionately for! The future world needs you - we need you!
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:icondesertotaku:
DesertOtaku Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
my parents are in denial as well. I went to catholic grade school and high school so I know where you are coming from with having to deal with ignorance plus religion. it can all be very overwhelming. but it looks like everyone who has commented wants to be there for you and is willing to be someone you can talk to including myself. I hope that at least gives you some peace of mind and knowledge that even if it is simply on the internet you have somewhere and people to go to who will listen and try to help.
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:iconpudgetheblob:
pudgetheblob Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student
Sounds tough. :L My parents split up about 6 months ago, about the same time i was coming to realise that i was gay. So i went through a deadly confusing and depressing time. I always found it was great to just go and have a rantie fit at one of my friends ( most of which i am convinced now think i'm a freak. :D ) But they sure do help! If you ever want to have a rant or just talk, you can send me a note. :P
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:iconmaiestasleviathan:
MaiestasLeviathan Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Have you ever considered that you might not be gay but bi. If you still think of women but still are attracted to men you wouldn't be gay. As for your parents... I find that you should pick the parent that you trust the most. Break it to them in a calm environment and ask them for help so you can tell your other parent. Its really hard to get their attention at the same time so try one by one. I find it easier that way. If anything at all know that your not alone and many people can support you. You just have to find them. There has to be one person there you can utterly trust.
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, my tendencies towards men fluctuate. One day I'm like "Hey, guys!" and the next I'm all "UGH, guys." There's a high probability in my mind that I might just be bi but then something crawls back up out of the back of my brain going "REMEMBER WHY YOU DISLIKE MEN. REMEMBER."

As for my parents, it's just so awkward to talk to them, but I have faith that at some point the discussion is going to be brought back up. I'm too shy and awkward right now to do it myself, and I definitely don't want to start an argument right after I almost had to move out ^^'
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:iconxallamax:
Xallamax Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
That's quite a story you have there... I had to come out several times before my folks believed I was serious (about my transition). They still think I'm just going through a phase... commence with the eye rolling! ^-^

Like yours, my parents are in denial about me, I know it's only the internet, but you can always talk to me.
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:iconharukamoon:
HarukaMoon Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Writer
This sounds so much like my story. I too have never really been with a woman nor dated one but somwhow I know i'm gay. I told my parents and they were totally in denial as well- plus my mom also threatens to leave my dad. I live in a rural area and all my friends like me but not (my sins of gayness). I think that its totally alright to just be yourself because its worked for me. As you grow up you start to realize that these things don't hurt as much. Just trust your instincts and eventually things will get better.

As for not being sure about guys that might make you bi-sexual.

:hug: I hope some of this helped.
Good luck to finding love
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:iconzarakoda:
Zarakoda Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow you're going through a lot, and I'm sorry about how hard it is. :P Wishing you the best. As far as getting into a relationship... don't rush it... it might take forever and it might suck (I have one friend who's just had the worst luck about not getting into a single relationship at all), but it'll be worth it in the very end once you find that special person. I know it'll happen!
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:iconomegablue69:
OmegaBlue69 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
That's a common reaction among parents, try talking to them again once things calm down even if it takes a few years. If they still don't accept it you might just have to do what some people do and tell them tough it's who you are.

And about liking guys, it could be possible you're bisexual which you know is fine to. Or you might be just be curious about guys which is also fine.
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:icontheika:
TheIka Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
It does not matter what environment and what kind of people you live with, there will always be those who do not like your choice...It's not just because you're gay ,but because you do not live by those standards that they impose.
Women are still expected to be housewives and nothing more, having children and taking care of husbands as if they were retarded...If you just want to have a career or you're gay or you are in any way different from standard, then you're weird...
If the people you call true friends really are, then it will accept your choice...but as for the parents it can really be painful for you, not so much for them....
For me being with a woman is the most beautiful thing in the world, to love and be loved is the most difficult to attain.
No matter what someone says, always be yourself...
Do not force anything, when you least expect one so special girl will walk into your life and stay there...
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:iconrosarioalchemist456:
RosarioAlchemist456 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you c:

I believe my dad's problem is not that he's worried about me being gay, but more so of what other people will think. He's a very paranoid man, and I can tell that it's partly just him worrying about me. He's tough to read sometimes, that's for sure -.-'

I'm already kind of an outcast, but a moderately cool outcast that does weird stuff and still manages to keep a few solid friends. Like you say, if they really are my friends, they'll accept me if I ever tell them.
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